TESM's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Goemon's Christmas]

Good quality

Good sprite quality, that goofy song, and funny use of Santa makes this one kind of amusing.

Overall, I'm not always a huge fan of sprite movies, but this one had good direction, technique, and progression (the little it DID have).

I'm not really impressed, but it still isn't bad at all, and I think it's a nice little Christmas thing, so good work.

MasaAndMune responds:

Everybody has different tastes, but I am glad at least you enjoyed it.

Thanks for the review.

[Santa's Tree]

Enjoyable

It's not great in any field, but overall it tells a simple story with a simple ending.

It's definitely not great, by any means, but it's a nice little take on an old theme.

Could the art be better? Yea... it seemed a bit sloppy and lazy to me.

The music was nice, and it would've been nice to see more of the tree-growth animated... I dunno, to make it more magical and whimsical.

But, decent presentation and something that wasn't painful at all to watch.

Good work.

Sonucais responds:

Make me the favor of telling Tom about giving me a Wacom, it will make me improve the art :(

[Bahamut's Favourite PMs]

This flash was annoying.

All in all, stupid people are funny. In the same way, I think this has the score it deserves. It's funny, I guess...but the animation is sloppy and the voice is grating...

It's hard to explain why...but I doubt that'd be in either of our interests.

1) The graphics were simple and probably took all of... 25 seconds. If I was objective on a NG scale, or even on a curve with Brakenwood, this is a 1/10, since you DID have graphics.

2) Again, the humor (or humour) was ok... I guess. It's just you yelling into a microphone about stuff I don't care much about.

Not much else to complain about... your intent was clear enough.

I can appreciate your responding to most reviews, however, and I believe (as an old member) it shows a consideration for the fans and the enjoyment you get from entertaining others (despite how successful or not that is).

In my mind that makes a good NG member, so I can praise you for that at least.

But this flash is just average. Sorry about that.

kinggila responds:

My animation and graphics has always been below average but it was more of the plot and humour I cared about when making these flashes. Of course, if whenever I get to making my next flash, I will want to make the graphics and animation much better than before. I felt the voices for this flash were rushed and if I were to remake it, I'd definitely make improvements.

Thanks for the well thought out review! :)

[The Last Flash]

I'm confused:

If you didn't care, why show it?

I know being a flash artist is a thankless job, and I suck too.

But... well... if you are leaving... nice lack of dignity.

I just stopped doing it and became a bitter reviewer (or did I?)

coldReactive responds:

Thank you, now I see why my old flashes got blammed all the time, because of jerks like you! hehe

[Awesome Contra]

You get one point for Mr. T.

And -1 for everything else... resulting in.... ZERO!

YOU did it... up down up down left right left right A + B + Start + Select!

TriForce12 responds:

YUP

[Nietzsche kills God]

Gay jew is kinda right.

But he did say "we have killed him."

This shit makes no sense... It's like Monty Python took a dump in on an easel.

The only things worthwhile was the turning Nietzschecopter...

other than that: BALEETED.

Serdo responds:

You'll see when you find, or viceversa. Forget about Monty Phyton, the're dead man. Merry Christmas for you too ^_^

[Metaphysics]

WOW

OK ... 'Descartes!'

1) This had nothing to do with metaphysics

2) This was less insightful than the QUESTION "Dude, where's my car?"

3) WORST KIERKEGAARD QUOTE INSERT EVER... which has to do with faith... probably the teleological suspension of the ethical (In Fear and Trembling) and NOT this.

4) That one piece of toast could NOT be a toast army. Why wasn't this designation used when the copy and tween toast-lance-army was seen?

5) You asked "So what?".. so.... what?

this sucks.

nachallnight responds:

Thank you for the feedback, noted.

[Santa's A Cunt]

ah...

Just the same cliche' humor again. I never saw Bad Santa, nor do I plan to, but even for this, there's nothing new brought to the table. Poorly animated, simply tweens matched with tweens, etc.

The voices were alright, but santa had about 3 accents, and sometimes the voices were off, or softer, louder, or whatever. They weren't consistent. That irks me.

The humor is sub-par, well, like most of the users on NG who find pissing themselves and punching kids funny. It really wasn't anything original or new, I can't really grade high on humor so often used.

Graphically, everyhing on that front was consistent, although i could have stood for a better background, and maybe some different angles onler than front (7/8 more porperly).

The style, again, I'll say it, couples with it's humor. Nothing special nothing out of my imagination. the voice was funny for santa, on occasion, but nothing to make me laugh or smile about.

Eh, whatever that means to the public, oh well. I'm not here to be nice. Decent effort, I just saw it extremely bland. Work more with a consistent voice and some new artistic-figure angles and things should turn out better.

Gaizka responds:

What on God's Earth is wrong with you?! It's not supposed to be epic, it's a short made in three days, what do you want? Pardon me if I failed to meet your unrealistically high standards.

Santa did NOT have three accents, he had ONE accent - this is probably my first movie where I have used my actual voice. If you listen carefully you can hear his lack of caring progress, unless you were confused as to who was speaking.

You think the humour is sub-par? Well, the majority of people don't. I can appreciate all forms of comedy, and prefer intelligence and wit over crude jokes any day. If you don't find it funny, it doesn't mean it isn't.

The problem with you is that on numerous occasions you state what you WANT. Sorry I didn't work to your specifications, pal. In fact, I just watched some of your stuff and honestly feel it is no better than my works or beyond the limits of anything I am capable of producing.

[Final Fantasy Matters]

not bad.

Certantly made me chuckle, which is hard to do.
The tent scene, the cactar, and some presentation made this pretty neat.

A big blow was voices. not that they were collectivly bad, it's that the different recoding qualities, along iwth pops, low volumes, etc hurt the effect of some otherwise 'laughable' lines. Some lines were sarcasticly bad, so that was funny too.

Graphically, it was pretty lame, but that was part of the funny. I'd definately ask you to improve it, and lose so much of the tween and 'cheap zoom-in attacks' etc.

Music was good, and overall, it looks like you put good effort into it.
Well done, just sorta a 'rough-draft' of something good.

good work, this earns a mentionable 5/10 from me. keep it up, and aim even higher.

Joevan responds:

Final Fantasy Matters 2 is already in progress. There will no be any sound problems, there will be no bad graphics, I'll use camera.

Thanks for the helpful review, even you gave 5. Waaa...

[Tribute 2 Piconjo]

ha ah ha

man, you crack me up. Personally, this turd of the week is a long, and surprisingly well (thought??) out piece, that's nothing of any quality, but a great commentary of the website itself.

that's why people like you and the star syndicate crack me up by challenging the 'society' her with eerie quality for how 'shabby' they look.

good stuff. you made me laugh again.

Branco responds:

thanx for the review. there are always ppl who can enjoy a rather dull animated, silly Piconjo flash, and I love them : )